Live from the Oval Office,Donald Trumphas a few "urgent" phone calls to make.
This week,Saturday Night Liveopened by parodying some of the week's biggest headlines as President Trump (James Austin Johnson) went down his contacts list, making a series of increasingly insane calls.
First up, Trump reached out to his good friendTiger Woods, in the hopes of having a chat about golf. Instead, the president learned about the pro-golfer'srecent run-in with the law.
"Tiger! It’s Donald," Trump began. "What’s going on, are you playing in the Masters this weekend?"
Caught off guard, Woods replied, "No, sir. I don’t know if you remember but I flipped my car and got a DUI."
After cracking a few jokes, Trump told Woods that he "should have told the cops we were friends, they would have let you off."
"Well, I did and they didn’t," Woods replied, to which Trump responded: "If only there was something I could have done to help."
Reflecting for only a millisecond, Trump then said, "Oh well! Want to play some golf?"
Woods explained that there was no golf in his near future, telling the president, "I’m actually at a rehab facility in Switzerland at the moment."
Before he could finish, Trump lost interest and abruptly hung up. Before he could figure out who to call next, his phone started ringing. "Who is this? I don't recognize the number, " he said aloud.
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It turned out to be his wife, Melania (Chloe Fineman). Upon realizing that, Trump remarked, "You're calling me? That's not a good sign."
Referencing the press conference called by the realMelania Trumpearlier this week — in which sheunexpectedly announcedthat she was not associated with the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein — Fineman’s Melania told her husband, "Listen, I decided I should do a big, random speech, completely out of nowhere, and say I am not Epstein victim. Is that good?"
Trump replied, "Darling, I gotta admit, this sounds a little insane. Who are you? Me?”
"It's not just Epstein," she continued. "I thought I could also say, 'I, Melania Trump, in no way helped out the Gilgo Beach serial killer.' That way, no one is suspicious."
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His final call to Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) saw the duo discuss recent developments amid America's war with Iran.
"Rest assured, sir, Iran is as obliterated as me every Saturday night, allegedly," Hegseth told Trump. He then asked the president if he was serious aboutnegotiating a ceasefire, which Trump was quick to reassure him over.
"Don’t worry about the negotiations, I just heard they’re going really, really bad," Trump told him. "I sent in my secret weapon,JD Vance. After those Iranians spent 20 hours talking to JD, they said, 'Please, sir, just go back to bombing us.'"
Watch Trump make all his very important calls in the full sketch above.
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